Barry Raymond Manfreda

Barry Raymond Manfreda passed on peacefully on May 6th, at 79 years old, having lived a wonderfully full life. Growing up in Utica, New York, he probably never expected just how much he would go on to do. Nevertheless, Barry went on to travel the world, have a big and colorful family, become a pillar in a community, and make friends everywhere he went along the way.  In his professional career, while he took some exciting detours along the way (such as working as a Washington DC club bouncer with his brother Brad), his goal was always to find work that allowed him to help others. After working in hospital system management for years, he found his calling working as a counselor at the Gate of Heaven Cemetery, where he stayed for 23 years.  The care and kindness he gave to families as they navigated had a profound impact. Families would remember him long after their brief time working together, often sending our family Christmas cards every year expressing their gratitude. Barry took incredible pride in the work he did helping grieving families, even when it weighed on him at times.

In his personal life, Barry was also known for his kindness and desire to help. He was a father, a brother, a friend, a church-community member, a counselor, and a gardener. As a father, he took immense pride in his children, no matter how different we all were. He spoke with his eldest, Robert, on the phone daily and loved telling people about Robert’s education and love of sports. He wore out his ‘USMC’ sweatshirt due to wearing it too often, and would excitedly tell any service member he met that his stepson, Andre, was a Marine. He was resolutely convinced that his stepdaughter, Aimée’s interest in theatre would lead to her becoming a star. As he watched his youngest children find their passions and begin higher education, he was always ready to hear what Jean-Marie had to say about physics and astronomy, and what Veronique had to say about psychology and neuroscience. While he was a former football player himself, he also made a great cheerleader for the people he loved no matter what their goals were.

Perhaps even more important, however, is that he would meet you with even more support, and zero judgment, whenever you faltered or felt like a failure. Barry will be remembered by many in different ways. Well remember him every time he walk past a beautiful garden with a freshly cut lawn. We will remember him anytime the Green Bay Packers are on our tv’s. We’ll remember him while drinking a cold beer or cola. We’ll remember him when at our thanksgiving dinners, with children running around and friends and family crowding all around, and we’ll think of how much Barry would have loved this. We’ll remember him when we are sitting by ourselves in a quiet and beautiful spot, perhaps with a book in our hands, and we’ll think that Barry would have loved this too. More than any other time, however, we will remember him when we are in need of simple kindness, because we will know that Barry would always give that to us. He leaves us with stories to remember him by that range from touching to tragic to hilarious.

He is survived by his wife, Manon, three children (Robert, Jean Marie, and Veronique) and two stepchildren (Andre and Aimée), two siblings (Brad and Barbara), two dogs (Curie and Fenrir), and a community of friends and neighbors. We believe that he is currently in the part of heaven where the Packers win the Super Bowl every year, there’s always a Charlie Brown special on, and there is unlimited Italian food. He’s probably playing catch with his dog, Angie, who has been patiently waiting for him. He is waiting for the rest of us to join him, and he will be ready to greet us all when we get there in the big Thanksgiving dinner in the sky. 

All are welcome to join the family for Vigil Prayers at 7pm on Monday, May 18 at St. Michael's Catholic Church in Silver Spring, MD.  From 7:30pm that night to 6am the next morning, Tuesday, May 19, there will be an overnight time of visitation, prayers and song.  The Funeral Mass will begin at 10am on Tuesday, May 19.  Interment to follow at Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Silver Spring, MD.